Lawyers... Oh Lawyers

A man went to his
lawyer and told him "My neighbor owes me $500.00 and he
doesn't want to pay up. What should I do???


"Do you have any proof ?", asked the
lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.


"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the
$1,000.00 he owed you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500.00!", replied the
man.


"Precisely, that's what he will reply and we will
have the proof we need," said the
lawyer.



--------------------------------------------------------------

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his
better students, "If you were to give someone an
orange, how would you go about it?".


The student replied, "Here's an
orange."

The professor was outraged. "No! No! Think like a
lawyer!"


The student then replied, "Okay. I'd tell him.....
I hereby give and convey to you all and
singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title,
claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with
all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and
advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and
otherwise eat, the same, or give

the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and
seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any
deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind
whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding.


-------------------------------------------------------


A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the
counter.

Fortunately, the butcher recognised the dog as belonging to
a neighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a
lawyer.


Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour
and
said.....
Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would
you be liable for the cost of the meat???


The lawyer replied..... Of course, how much was the
roast??? "$7.98."

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail
for $7.98.


Attached to it was an invoice that read:-

Legal Consultation Service..... $150.00



-------------------------------------------------------

The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's
footsteps so he went to law school. He graduated with an
honours and then went home to join his father's
firm.


At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his
father's office, and said.....


Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that
you've been working on for ten years!!!

His father responded..... You idiot, we lived on the
funding of that case for ten years!!!


---------------------------------------------------

Have a great day!
.
Source: http://www.my-hut.com/default2.asp?tree=565
Source:http://www.my-hut.com.my/jokes&story
.